RAVE: A dream...

Visceral

A Turkish basilica

gleams in dawn's light

taupe sheets

tangle my thighs

and I feel you

at the small of my back

as my lashes

flutter toward submission

waking me to a dream.

Painting by Meredith Wildes-Cornell 1990

RAVE- Wilde Amphigories

Check out some amphigories by my friend, Reggie Fox...a promising new writer, journalist & playwright...

Wilde Amphigories

RAVE - Skyglass

Skyglass

I am sure there used to be a time
when divine providence
was.
Unquestioned.
Miraculous.
Subtle.
A simplistic, intrinsic mystery
like rain to grass.
yet
creeds whispered
on dusty scrolls
led to the exile
of truth...
banished
to the confines of a temple:
watered down,
rusty,
ruminating,
longing
for arduous redemption.
Entombed
by doctrines,
raveled
by rhetoric:
Pushed down like a seed
while fear grew like ivy
over cut stone windows
stained in dark hues.
Buried and
reminiscent
for genial gifts of light and air,
that smack eagerly against the clammy stone
as life’s breath chokes
and salvation’s flower refuses
to bloom among the brown grass.

RANT- Uncle David

Pacifist

Like a camouflaged monarch
zipping shut death’s door.
I 'm a scrawny, eager kid still
too shy to kiss a girl.
The grim reaper of 58,000 jerking
my little piece of the American dream.


But,
don’t mind me,
I just used
to bag the dead.

Became everyday for me
to look upon the stale and fallen.
Stagnant expressions upon me
sealing wistful eyes
valiantly with my bare fingers.

Days of closeness
with the plastic fleece of finality
are over.
Been three decades
but my mind still sees the faces...

Every.
Single.
One.

I am still now...
oppressed with regrets
locked away, raving to myself,
for no one understands
the ramblings of savage dreams.

No pity please, someone had to,
lest the bodies would pile high and remind us
of how vulnerable we are to
our spiteful ignorance,

where no one really wins.

But
don’t mind me,
I just used to bag the dead.

RAVE- Soul searching...

Imminent

You are there.
I can sense you on the tip of my tongue.
I am just unsure of your name,
the kindly shape of your lips,
and your scent

But

I know you are there ,
……….,
just not here with me,
yet.

Maybe

if I looked into
the faces of strangeness
as I lunge past …
I would see that you are here.

But

it is so much easier
to look down,
overstepping the cracks...
not wanting the distraction
that could cause me to fall -

Maybe

I will round a corner and you will be there,
breathing my name like
you need only
to know me.
Giving me no choice.

Till then

I will stumble,
downcast,
& tripping
towards someone
that
is
not
yet
here.

Hope

Dirty tissue
paper petals
upon slick &
eager stalks
slump against
my windowsill
begging for
a return
to the earth
so they
can try
once again.

Sea Flowers by Richelle

RAVE- Mon poeme (feelin a lil French today)

Salvation

The trees never go to church

yet they offer themselves to the sky everyday

They never surround themselves with the tint of stained glass

yet the glimmer of pure light touches them everyday

They never barter for their souls

yet they are born again --

Over and over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Art by Natasha Wescoat

Alice Walker

This poem is so fitting for my WIP, The Ivory Pomegranate (formerly titled The Sibylline Prophecies; Where the Stones Speak) I thought I'd post so others could appreciate the greatness of word weaver, Alice Walker (author of The Color Purple).

To Be A Woman

To be a woman
Does not mean
To wear
A shroud;

The feminine
Is not
Dead
Nor is she
Sleeping

Angry, yes,
Seething,yes.

Biding her time;

Yes.
Yes.

RANT- Thank God for the Czech Republic

This kind of news gets me so mad. And after you read it, ask yourself if you think perhaps, that this was intentional? More people exposed, means more people infected, which thereby ensures more people will need Baxter's "real" avian flu vaccine...Simple economics....Sad

RANT- Apathy

Gaza Death Toll

Palestinian People - 935 deaths

4,300 injured

Israelis - 13 deaths


The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations. ~David Friedman

Sometimes I think it should be a rule of war that you have to see somebody up close and get to know him before you can shoot him. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

A great war leaves the country with three armies - an army of cripples, an army of mourners, and an army of thieves. ~German Proverb

What is wrong with this picture? See here for proof that Israel tells President Bush & Condoleeza Rice what to do. I am saddened by this.

Send an automated letter to the secretary of state & your local senators by clicking here.

If you want to help see here, here , here & here OR...

BOYCOTT ISRAEL (yes. I'm very serious!!) Don't just do it for a couple days. Do it for a good long while because a nation is dangerous when it thinks it can just disregard the world.

RAVE- Headlights, Horsecrap & Big Ideas

Just a short break from my writing for some inspirational quotes:

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."
~E.L. Doctorow

"The task of a writer consists of being able to make something out of an idea."
~Thomas Mann

"If a book is not alive in the writer's mind, it is as dead as year-old horse-shit."
~Stephen King

And one final quote as I sit here and wonder if I have enough time to finish 5 chapters(skeleton chapters mind you) this weekend...

"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."
~H. Jackson Brown

RANT- The Gaza Crisis

I'mmm baaaaacckk.
This current Gaza situation has me so pissed off, I just had to post. I've been so busy with school, work and finishing my WIP, The Sibylline Prophecies that I let my blog fall by the wayside. Hope everyone is doing well :)

Go here for news pertaining to the Gaza/Israel conflict that isn't tainted by Western media. In all sincerity, what we as a people are allowing to occur is a threat to our country. And I don't mean to insinuate that Hamas is the terrorist and will harm our country. Hamas is NOT the terrorist. Guess who is?! Israel has no right to justify the death of 500 + people, which they allege is a result of home grown rockets being fired into Southern Israel that has resulted in 0 fatalities. That's right ! ZERO!!


I wish I could urge some action on our part to support the people of Gaza but I do not know of such a group. What I can do is give you this information and ask that we as Americans begin to demand an unbiased view of international & national news events so that we can form our own opinions and not be led to our views like cattle to feed. Maybe then our apathy will blossom into awareness. And awareness will blossom into action. And so forth and so on. But first we must be given accurate information, which, without, we are quite literally clueless and helpless to even see the problem.

The Aljazeera website does an outstanding job of providing an unbiased overview of the crisis. Be smart and strong willed. Do not take truth for granted and do some searching on your own to assure it is free from biased and oppressive sources.

I am including the full text of the article here with highlighted sections to reinforce my point. I apologize for it's length.

Begin:

There are two completely different versions of what is currently happening in Gaza.

In the Israeli and North American press version, Hamas - 'Islamic terrorists' backed by Iran - have in an unprovoked attack fired deadly rockets on innocent Israel with the intent of destroying the Jewish state.

North American politicians and the media say Israel "has the right to defend itself".

True enough. No Israeli government can tolerate rockets hitting its towns, even though the casualty totals have been less than the car crash fatalities registered during a single holiday weekend on Israel's roads.

The firing of the feeble, home-made al-Qassam rockets by Palestinians is both useless and counter-productive.

It damages their image as an oppressed people and gives right-wing Israeli extremists a perfect reason to launch more attacks on the Arabs and refuse to discuss peace.

Israel's supporters insist it has the absolute right to drop hundreds of tonnes of bombs on 'Hamas targets' inside the 360sq km Gaza Strip to 'take out the terrorists'.

Civilians suffer, says Israel, because the cowardly Hamas hide among them.

Actually, it is more like shooting fish in a barrel.

Omitting facts

As usual, this cartoon-like version of events omits a great deal of nuance and background.

Seventy per cent of Palestinian children suffer from psychological trauma
While firing rockets at civilians is a crime so, too, is the Israeli blockade of Gaza, which is an egregious violation of international law and the Geneva Conventions.

According to the UN, most of Gaza's 1.5 million Palestinian refugees subsist near the edge of hunger. Seventy per cent of Palestinian children in Gaza suffer from severe malnutrition and psychological trauma.

Medical facilities are critically short of doctors, personnel, equipment, and drugs. Gaza has quite literally become a human garbage dump for all the Arabs that Israel does not want.

Gaza is one of the world's most-densely populated places, a vast outdoor prison camp filled with desperate people. In the past, they threw stones at their Israeli occupiers; now they launch home-made rockets.

Call it a prison riot, writ large.

Eyeing the elections

When the so-called truce between Tel Aviv and Hamas expired on December 19, Israeli politicians were in the throes of preparing for the February 10 national elections. Israeli politics are playing a key role in this crisis.

Ehud Barak, the defence minister and leader of the Labour party, and Tzipi Livni, the foreign minister and leader of the Kadima party, are trying to prove themselves tougher than Benjamin Netanyahu's hard-line Likud party - and one another.

Israel's elections are only six weeks away, and Likud was leading until the air raids on Gaza began. Kadima and Labour are now up in the polls.

The heavy attacks on Gaza are also designed to intimidate Israel's Arab neighbours, and make up for Israel's humiliating 2006 defeat in Lebanon, which still haunts the country's politicians and generals.

A fait accompli

When the air raids on Gaza began, Barak said: "We have totally changed the rules of the game."

He was right. By blitzing Hamas-run Gaza, Barak presented the incoming US administration with a fait accompli, and neatly checkmated the newest player in the Middle East Great Game - Barack Obama, the US president-elect - before he could even take a seat at the table.

IN DEPTH

Latest news and analysis from Gaza and Israel

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Watch our coverage of the war on Gaza
The Israeli offensive into Gaza now looks likely to short-circuit any plans Obama might have had to press Israel into withdrawing to its pre-1967 borders and sharing Jerusalem.

This has pleased Israel's supporters in North America who have been cheering the war in Gaza and have been backing away from their earlier tentative support for a land-for-peace deal.

Israel's successes in having Western media portray the Gaza offensive as an 'anti-terrorist operation' will also diminish hopes of peace talks any time soon.

Obama inherits this mess in a few weeks. During the elections, Obama bowed to the Israel lobby, offering a new US carte blanche to Israel and even accepting Israel's permanent monopoly of all of Jerusalem.

As he concludes forming his cabinet, his Middle East team looks like it may be top-heavy with friends of Israel's Labour party.

Obama keeps saying he must remain silent on policy issues until George Bush, the outgoing US president, leaves office, but his staff appear happy to avoid having to make statements about Gaza that would antagonise Israel's American supporters.

Obama will take office facing a Middle East up in arms over Gaza and the entire Muslim world blaming the US for the carnage in Gaza.

Unless he moves swiftly to distance himself from the policies of the Bush administration, he will soon find himself facing the same problems and anger as the Bush White House.

Arab deal killed

Israel's Gaza offensive is also likely to torpedo the current Saudi-sponsored peace plan, which had been backed by all members of the Arab League.

The plan, now likely defunct, had called for Israel to withdraw to its 1967 borders and share Jerusalem in exchange for full recognition and normalised relations with the Muslim world.

Arab governments will now be unable to sell the deal as they face a storm of criticism from their own people over their powerlessness to help the Palestinians of Gaza.

Egypt, in particular, is being widely accused of collaborating with Israel in further sealing off and isolating Gaza. It seems highly unlikely they will be able to advance a peace plan with Israel for now.

This is a bonus for right-wing Israelis, who have always been dead set against any withdrawal and strongly supported the attack on Gaza.

Other Israeli factions who were always lukewarm about the Saudi peace plan are now unlikely to reconsider it.

Israel's security establishment is committed to preventing the creation of a viable Palestinian state, and refuses to negotiate with Hamas. Unable to kill all of Hamas' men, Israel is slowly destroying Gaza's infrastructure around them, as it did to Yasser Arafat's PLO.

Israel's hardliners point to Gaza and claim that any Palestinian state on the West Bank would threaten their nation's security by firing rockets into Israel's heartland.

Mighty information machine

Israel is confident that its mighty information machine will allow it to weather the storm of worldwide outrage over its Biblical punishment of Gaza. Who remembers Israel's flattening of parts of the Palestinian city of Jenin, or the US destruction in Falluja, Iraq, or the Sabra and Shatilla massacres in Beirut?

The US media has focused on the rockets being fired on Israel from Gaza
Though the torment of Gaza is seen across the horrified Muslim world as a modern version of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising by Jews against the Nazis during World War Two, Western governments still appear bent on taking no action.

Though Israel's use of American weapons against Gaza violates the US Arms Export Control and Foreign Assistance Acts, the docile US Congress will remain mute.

Israel's assault on Gaza was clearly timed for America's interregnum between administrations and the year-end holidays, a well-used Israeli tactic.

Hamas refuses to recognise Israel as long as Israel refuses to recognise Hamas and the rights of millions of homeless Palestinian refugees.

It calls for a non-religious state to be created in Palestine, meaning an end to Zionism. Ironically, Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, the founder and late leader of Hamas, had spoken of a compromise with Tel Aviv shortly before he was assassinated by Israel in 2004.

An inherited mess

Israel's hopes that it can bomb Gazans into rejecting Hamas are as ill-conceived as its failed attempt in 2006 to blast Lebanon into rejecting Hezbollah.

The Fatah regime on the West Bank installed by the US and Israel after Yasser Arafat's suspicious death will be further discredited, leaving the militants of Hamas as the sole authentic voice of Palestinian nationalism.

Hamas, the militant but still democratically elected government of Gaza, is even less likely to compromise.

The Muslim world is in a rage. But so what? Stalin liked to say "the dogs bark, and the caravan moves on," and as long as the US gives Israel carte blanche, it can do just about anything it wants.

The tragedy of Palestine will thus continue to poison US relations with the Muslim world.

Those Americans who still do not understand why their nation was attacked on 9/11 need only look to Gaza, for which the US is now being blamed as much as Israel.

Unless Israel can make 5 to 7 million Palestinians disappear, it must find some way to co-exist with them. Israeli leaders on the centre and right continue to avoid facing this fact.

The brutal collective punishment inflicted on Gaza will likely strengthen Hamas and reverse any hopes of a Middle East peace in the coming years.

Eric S. Margolis is an author, syndicated foreign affairs columnist, broadcaster, and veteran war correspondent. His latest book is American Raj: America and the Muslim world.

RANT-Too busy...

Hey guys. OY! I keep waiting for some downtime so I can write a nice, informative post...however, that's not gonna happen anytime soon. So here's the best I've got for the moment.

I was wondering...do you guys have a favorite narrative non-fiction book? I just checked out Random Family by Adrian Nicole LeBlanc (Faulkner winner) about this family coming of age in the Bronx that she researched for ten years.

I'm also a big fan of Jonathan Kozol's books, Rachel & Her Children, Amazing Grace.

Here's some paintings from one of my favorite painters, Nancy Noel... Simply gorgeous

RAVE- Tag ! You're it!

My cool blogger buddy Angela tagged me...I'm happy to say this is my first tag.

I have finally arrived!

Here's The rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people and post a comment to Bish's blog once you've posted your three sentences.

One of the nearest books (I'm surrounded by piles):

THE BLUEST EYE by Toni Morrison

They'd cut off the light, and everything be black. Then the screen would light up, and I'd move right on in them pictures. White men taking such good care of they women, and they all dressed up in big clean houses with the bathtubs right in the same room with the toilet.

I tagged:
Courtney
Brenda
Linda
Danette
Chris

Rant- Who's doing the talking here?

Okay. So I think it's incredulous that Hillary is insinuating that Obama was calling us Pennsylvanians "bitter" in a derogatory way. I just think he miscommunicated an attempt to empathize with us and in no way does he feel like an elitist.

To avoid the media's presentation of just the bits and pieces of what he said, here's the actual quote--

"You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them," Obama, an Illinois senator, said.

"And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations," he said.

NEWSFLASH----The majority of us hard working Americans here in Pennsylvania ARE "bitter" in various ways depending on how the Government's misuse of it's power has affected us. The ramifications of those feelings are way too hard to evaluate in 1 mere blog post so here's what I've noticed and I want to see if you guys have noticed it too.

Watch the difference between Hillary and Obama when they are speaking.

Obama rarely uses note cards or a written speech...hence, it comes from how he truly and sincerely feels.

Hillary on the other hand, frequently uses a written speech and note cards, stopping mid-sentence to look at what she is going to say next...hence, it appears she has been told what to say.

Just thought I would point it out..... I feel it's important that who I vote for as president should know without hesitation what the heck they stand for without note cards or speeches( written by someone else).
AND I do realize that some speakers rely heavily on notecards because they're nervous, forgetful or whatever BUT, if you have to stop halfway between each sentence because you have NO IDEA what you are trying to say...there's def something wrong with that!

One more point and I'll leave the politics to the professionals....During Obama's rally here in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, an IUP college student stood up and presented a very interesting point....

"If Hillary is elected president, it will mean that ONLY 2 families have lead America for the last 28 consecutive years..."

I, myself, do not think that a continuation of the same 2 families will bring about change for America.

Okie, dokie, I'm done. Thanks for baring with me :)

RAVE- Obama Rocks!

A quote from Obama's latest speech given in Philadelphia...

"...they (our children) must always believe that they can write their own destiny."

Absolute.

RANT- Now, I've seen it all...

OKAY! I was researching Goddess names for one of my characters and stumbled upon this site.

Before I go on, let me say this,

I am proud to be a woman and I am open to new art forms but this has me quite speechless!

AND take note, you can buy one of these for only $600.00.

Let me repeat, ONLY $600.00

And in case one of these doesn't suit your fancy, there are plenty of styles to choose from.
In case you think I'm making this up. See here.

Remember, they are ONLY $600.00 a piece + $30.00 S/H

First let me show you the pic



AND I QUOTE---"Combining fine silks, rich velvets and precious gems, Vulva Puppets are infused with potpourri, signed and dated. Dorrie gives them names from Goddess lores, Fairy tales or Femmes of literature depending on who they inspire. Take her story with you, or create your own.

Oh my great googly moog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you do with one of these?

Are they pillows?

Colorful accents for your boudoir or sette?

Unique Christmas presents? I am so tempted to give these as gifts for Christmas, just to see what my family of Fancy Nancys would make of this. My mom loves fine silk and potpourri.

Maybe I could donate them to my local library for when they present their puppet shows. I wonder what type of voice they will have? Do they even talk or just make expressions?? I am laughing so hard I cannot type.

AND just another pic with some thought provoking quotes for good measure...



Keep in mind, this one is only $500.00!

"In a way the puppet has been a life saver. Teaching the anatomy of the door of the goddess*snort* usually brings up a lot of emotions and men's faces tend to become pale. However with the the vulva puppet we can explore in a much more fun and relaxed way. This sets an emotional tone of lightness and confidence which is very important for beginners."

Raphael More, Oceanic Tantra Teacher, Director of the Kahua Hawaiian Institute

Just one more quote...(explaining the educational benefits from the VULVA PUPPETS--say it loud and proud people.)

"From a child’s first question of “Where do I come from?”, Vulva Puppets are an invaluable tool for learning. With a puppet in the family the opportunity to have “the talk” will naturally present itself allowing comfortable matter of fact conversations about the emotions and responsibility connected with sex."

Anyone want to guess what my kids would do if I showed them one of these and talked about the birds & bees?

I HAVE NOW SEEN IT ALL PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY, I WAS GOING TO END THIS BLOG ENTRY BUT WHILE LOOKING FOR A NEW GLORIOUS PIC OF A VULVA PUPPET (LOUD & PROUD) TO USE, I STUMBLED UPON THIS VIDEO

AND THIS VIDEO TRUMPS THE VULVA PUPPETS BY A HUGE MARGIN........

IT ANSWERS THE QUESTION...

"WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH A VULVA PUPPET?"

I WARN YOU, GO USE THE RESTROOM BEFORE VIEWING THIS VIDEO BECAUSE YOU WILL, I REPEAT, WILL PEE YOUR PANTS!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS A QUICKTIME VIDEO, THEREFORE I CAN'T GET IT TO PASTE INTO MY ENTRY SO I BEG YOU

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GO HERE AND SCROLL DOWN TO SEE THE VIDEO.

I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE....

RAVE- Naughty Ewok!

Have you ever seen such a cute little dog!?!

WARNING--He is a proverbial pantie snatcher & muncher with NO regard for common decency!

Nothing like walking into my house and finding a line of Grannie panties (what?, they're comfortable) and minuscule thongs (my daughters, def not mine) laid out everywhere.

On the sofa. "Please guest, have a seat. Oh! Don't mind the crotchless panties, that's just my dog's chew toy. Hee. Hee".

In the kitchen, in his food bowl. "He's just saving those for later. Hee. Hee."

Hanging from his mouth while he greets a guest. "Oh look, he's sharing!"

GROSS!!!!!

Technically, it's mine & my daughter's fault. I mean what are hampers for? But c'mon how can such a cute little dog be so disgusting? Lucky for him, he's cute and lucky for me, Granny panties are on sale this week
at the local Wal-Mart.

RAVE- Introducing Janice Erlbaum

Just found this new writer.
She's hilarious. See here.

She's smart. See here.

She's fresh. See here. And here.

She's one of those writers that I'm so glad I found. I hate knowing, I could have missed out on her written work, had I not picked up the latest Bookpage from my local library.

RAVE-Ode to My Officemates & Libations :)

Patsy Cline-WTF?
3$ for 4 songs that took 15 minutes to choose???
Pashmina versatility
mmmm..... A hover moment
Where's the bathroom?
AAArrrggghhhh!!
Rowdy Bunch
Jealous Bitches(you know who you are)
Guys, where's the bathroom?
Shaving when you want
Woo woo(said with way too much expression)
Hailing a bartender
AAArrrggghhhh!!!!!
Seriously guys, Where's the Bathroom?
The Great Walkout
Delayed Reactions
The one w/the pretty face
Nasty-ass shooters (that aren't even chilled WTF?)
Automatic towel dispensers that mess with your mind.(it happens)
Patron with lemon(nothing wrong with that combo Mr. know-it-all bartender)
Dammit, Where's the f-in bathroom?
AAArrrggghhhh!
Boob shots
Road rash & a dirty chin
AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a toast to my great officemates....Next on our list-----Bingo!! Are we some wild chicks or what?!
Yeah Boy

RAVE- Pee your pants funny!

Why I love kids...

RANT- Where is Spring???!!!!

Hi guys! I'm so sorry I 've been away for so long.

AND I've been a horrible no good blogger who hasn't visited any of my blogger buddies. I promise to change that here shortly.

Seems everybody wants a piece of me...school, work, family, clients, pets, friends, WIP's. I could sure use a lazy spring day on my front porch about now...









...but it looks like I'll have to wait.

RAVE- Imperfection is a beautiful thing!

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." - Anna Quindlen

RAVE- Lookie here at Gladys...

Here's a pic of Gladys Hardy in all her sweet glory. Ain't she cute!?
She also has a myspace page.
Boy, she's hip!

RAVE-Gladys Rocks!!

RANT- I am a wimpy vegetarian too!

Salmon is a vegetable...right?



I think it should be, starting right now :)

And if it's not, and let's just say maybe I ate a little. What does that make me....a semi-vegetarian?

Rant - I'm a wimpy vegan!

Woke up this a.m. and decided I meant to say vegetarian not vegan. I mean how will I go the rest of my life and not eat eggs? I can't do it.
I like eggs and a lil cheese now and then.

So I officially spent 1 day being a vegan and I can honestly say that I've had my fill of brown rice and legumes... Speaking of which---Who the heck calls them that? I'm so tempted to go to my local grocery store, find a young stock boy and ask "In which aisle can I find the legumes?

Back to the brown rice and legumes. Those are fine to eat as long as you have no qualms about expressing large amounts of gas in a public setting. It was a good thing I was off work yesterday. Seriously, I think I lost 10 pounds of natural gas yesterday and I scared my dog. My dog, Daisy is now convinced there is an African elephant hiding in our house somewhere. :)
Anyhoo,
So I'm now trying to be a vegetarian and I will post updates on my progress.
I just can't wait to laugh about all the items I find in the organic food section and to laugh at the price. Should be thrilling!
I'm off to eat some eggs...

Rave - Skinny Bitch

I cannot say enough about this book titled "Skinny Bitch".
My "office-mate", Natasha recommended I read it as we both are constantly on the lookout for evil foods that could stunt our weight loss along with anything that can provide us with a good dose of our favorite exercise...
laughing our asses off.
Seriously, the way me and my "office-mates" laugh should be considered a sport for all the guffawing, snorting, knee slapping and head jerking frenzies we get ourselves into. And this book delivers some serious LOL, ass reduction capability along with dispelling some dietary myths that we take for granted.
When I saw the authors on the back cover looking just like skinny bitches and when I read that one of the authors, Kim Barnouin used to be a model and the other used to be a modeling agent, Rory Freedman, I was ready to give the book back to Natasha. I mean come-on, skinny people should not tell people how to lose weight. It's like a nun giving women tips on how to be sexy. They just have no idea. Unless they've walked a mile in fat lady moccasins, I don't think they should offer people dieting advice.
But Natasha raved about the book and she's a pretty smart bitch so I read it.
And yes, they are Skinny Bitches.
BUT, they're also Smart Bitches-- who back up everything in the book with statistics and scientific studies and...
they're Funny Bitches who swear like teenagers.
Here are some of my fave quotes from the book:

When ditzing dairy..."Go suck your mother's tits. Go on. Suck your mother's tits. You think this is ridiculous? It is. Get ready to use your head."

When ditzing coffee..."So coffee equals fat cells. PS. It also makes your breath smell like ass."

When ditzing govermental agencies..."Is everyone in the FDA on drugs?"

And thanks to these Skinny Bitches, I'm ready to become a vegan. Not so much because I think eating meat is bad for your body, but because the treatment of these animals is deplorable, horrific and sad. Not to mention the amount of grain we use to feed these animals that could be feeding people. I just hope McDonalds gets a McVegan 1/4 pounder soon...before I get weak.

Rave- Philip Pullman

I'm liking this Mr. Pullman more and more.
I read The Golden Compass...liked it.
I saw the movie...loved it!
I read this on his website...

"Don't listen to any advice, that's what I'd say. Write only what you want to write. Please yourself. YOU are the genius, they're not. Especially don't listen to people (such as publishers) who think that you need to write what readers say they want. Readers don't always know what they want. I don't know what I want to read until I go into a bookshop and look around at the books other people have written, and the books I enjoy reading most are books I would never in a million years have thought of myself. So the only thing you need to do is forget about pleasing other people, and aim to please yourself alone. That way, you'll have a chance of writing something that other people WILL want to read, because it'll take them by surprise. It's also much more fun writing to please yourself."

...now I adore him!

RAVE - Wishing you & yours health and happiness.

These cards are reproductions of illuminated manuscript originals, scripted in the tradition of the Book of Kells by artist, Kevin Dillon. For more information on the art Kevin has used - please click here

They can be purchased here.

RAVE- JK Rowling is sooo cool!

I can't believe there's been no mention of this on any other site, besides Amazon, that I've seen in the past couple days. Maybe for once, I'm up to speed with international happenings but I really just happened to have come upon this by accident. Seems Amazon has purchased JK Rowling's handwritten and illustrated book,
The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Sotheby's auctioned it off at a final price of...
1,950,000.
Whew!
Of course, the generous literary genius is donating these funds to The Children's Voice Campaign.

I'm real curious to know what Amazon will do with this priceless work? I can't wait to see the illustrations and read the five tales.

See pics here
See video here

You know I heard she's writing an adult mystery..Are you guys gonna read it and how do you predict it will fare against Harry Potter?

RAVE - More Chick Music...

So sorry Colbie, It's time for me to move on.
Here's some brand new chick music for my peeps.....
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have any peeps, just a couple of lurkers from Germany & Asia, some fine family members and a handful of faithful blogger buddies:)

Check out this new music from Sara Bareilles
More info here

She has a nice voice and she plays a mean piano. Enjoy!!

RANT- Tis the season for crowded public restrooms...

With all the Christmas shopping that is upon us the following scenario is a very real one that we as women will surely face sometime this month while out doing our shopping. It is freakin hilarious and I apologize that I could not give the writer credit, but it was sent to me via email by my hilarious and germaphobic co-worker who wields Clorox wipes and Lysol spray before entering a room and I think she covers her furniture in plastic as a preventive measure...I'm just kidding!!! She's perfectly normal, even though she does drink antibacterial cucumber-melon soap before every meal. Hey! Don't knock it! I've never seen her with a cold. Who knew?And it's cheaper than echinacea.
Enjoy!

When you have to visit a public restroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't-so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance".

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance".

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday-the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backwards against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lost your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper-not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet papet trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms. It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

RAVE - Merry baaa Christmas!

Tis the Season....and maybe you've never entertained the possibility of purchasing goats, pigs, camels or chickens as Christmas presents. Sure, they may be a tad bit hard to wrap. But you just can't go wrong by giving a good goat to a family in a 3rd world country, knowing they will now be self-sustaining for years to come.

I'm not a big fan of Christmas. Don't worry though, my teenagers are and that makes up for my disinterest by leaps and bounds.

Maybe I shouldn't say Christmas. Maybe, I should say, I don't care for all the excess I see in the form of decorations, the umteen toys and gadgets, novelty gifts, etc.,etc.,. Santa's list never ends.

Now the way we make time for togetherness and good will...That's what I like about Christmas!

So, here's my question to you? Can you even remember what you got last Christmas and what you gave? There's probably one or two gifts you can recall that were somehow distinct and special. And while you're at it, ask your children if they remember what they got last Christmas.

So hopefully this Christmas you give what's special(No, the Xbox is not special) and receive that gift you will cherish and remember forever.

The family you purchase livestock for, will remember, without hesitation, their Christmas gift on a daily basis as they get milk, cheese, eggs, wool, etc.,etc., You can even purchase clean drinking water (doesn't that sound sad?) bees, llamas, cows. The giving list is never ending.

So, if you're looking for that perfect gift for someone who has everything--
Give em a goat!( Actually the goat goes to 3rd world family, but they can get pics and updates)

Here's the sites for where you go when you need a good goat. I think they even come with a warranty, just hold on to your receipt. :)

Goats R Us

*Buy 1 Bee Get One Free (*no coupons needed)

PIG-MART

Livestock Emporium ("THE" original company that started this concept)

RANT - What is this thing they call a "Kindle"!?!

Okay, I'm not against technology and I admit, I read my local paper online. Saves me from recycling and I do my part conserving trees:) Except for Sundays. On Sundays I go out on the porch or to the kitchen table with a hot mug of joe, happy for the extra time to read the local news in it's pristine paper form. Who cares that I get ink smudges all over my face and don't realize until way later in the day? Or that the paper refuses to crease right where I need it to, causing me to spill the large mug of joe? Or that my arms get tired from holding up all that weight so early in the morning?
Well, apparently you can now for the low, low, price of $399.00(That's low for some people..I'm not one of them) you can purchase a KINDLE...A what?! A Kindle...roll eyes...duh? Go ahead, I'll wait while you move your rock aside and attempt to get current.
A Kindle is revolutionary because it can store up to 200 books (like my bookshelf), has access to 88,000 books (like Amazon) and all the top papers are auto delivered daily(like the internet). (The death of the paperboy and the quaint bookshops are upon us people, it's a sad day indeed) Plus, you can purchase the books for only $9.99 and they're instantly downloaded. (The ADD in me would like that feature, but I will fight the urge)

A KINDLE, not to be confused with a HINDLE,
is now the latest thing...........
that I think will be a big bomb.

Here's why,
1) Who wants to curl up in front of the fire and read one of those?...
2) I want pages, not buttons.
3) I want a book cover not a screen.
4) I want tattered corners to tell me I loved it over and over.
5) I want a book to put on my shelf to show others my adoration and that it meant something to me.
6) What the hell should I get the author to sign?(if I meet one)
7) Do you know how many books I can buy for $399.00? Books take priority over electronics (yes, I'm a nerd)
8) So what if Toni Morrison, one of my favorite all time authors, likes it and is saying so on Amazon. com. I prefer to think she did it for the $. James Patterson did it for the press ;)
9) Did I say it's $399.00!?!
10) I'm obviously old fashioned at the tender age of 39 and they're is nothing I see earth shattering about this product.....unless, I was only allowed one item and was stranded on an island alone. Then and only then, would I want one of these.

And, if by chance I happen to succumb to all the hype and I purchase one...and I, gulp, like it....I will post an update and talk about how wrong and old-fashioned I was:)

RAVE- Desiderata is Latin for " to be desired".

I think this poem is perfect. My son, Josh shared this with me and I'd like to share it with you guys. I marked my favorite stanza and I'm going to somehow incorporate it into my WIP, Where the Stones Speak. Enjoy!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata,

Rant - Santa's Quandary

Apparently in Australia, the local Santas are not allowed to say, Ho! Ho! Ho! anymore. For fear that it might be construed as offensive to women.
Thank Goodness.......I can't tell you how many times I have walked through the local mall and felt violated by that bearded, large man in red calling out his derogatory names for women, sometimes even patting his leg, enticing me to sit on his lap? I mean the nerve!!! How dare he call me a HO.
WHAT is wrong with people?
Who could be offended by St. Nicholas?
So now Santas in the outback have to replace ho,ho,ho with ha, ha, ha.
What?!?
It's not gonna be long before the elderly or even Santa's own elves with their short stature, start to feel that Santa's jolly, ha, ha, ha is just his way of mocking them.
And then what's poor Santa gonna be allowed to say?
How about hi, hi, hi?
Nope, then people with a stutter will be offended.
Anybody got any politically correct phrases that poor Santa can say?
And before you guys think I made this up, check it out here!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115/wl_asia_afp/lifestyleaustraliachristmasoffbeat

Rave - Holy False Advertising!

Try & guess what place this card is an advertisement for.









Here, I'll give you some hints:
1) I found it in my daughter's pocket when doing laundry (God help me)
2) You can sing as horribly loud & bad as you want in this place and noone will say anything.
3)This is NOT a place to take naps.
4) Bring lots of money to give.

That last hint was too easy.....
You guessed it, it's for the church where my daughter attends youth group(Don't worry she's too young still for the Sat nite program..whew!) Apparently they have a 20 something group that meets on Saturday evenings. Here's my question, do you think they watch christian porn and eat pancakes? Because there's no real explanation on the back-- just a when and where kind of thing. Something tells me this church isn't hurting for membership(or maybe they are and they're getting desperate). And I know you're curious and maybe thinking it's a catholic church, but rest easy...it's a Baptist church. Moral of the story---Always check your daughter's jean pockets before doing laundry, never assume you're children are up to no good and think again before you label Baptists as conservative.
For anyone who's interested, I believe next month's theme is going to be Bestiality & Burritos and they meet Saturdays at 8 p.m.
Have a good time.

Rant- BOO! A scary thought for writers...see ? below

You know what's scary as h-e-double hockey sticks? What if I'm the only person that gets my writing, you know? The only one that likes it and appreciates it? Is that enough? I mean Thank God I have a great day job that pays the bills and puts wine on the table... but can I still feel like a good writer if I never get an honest dollar for my work? Sometimes I feel like I've shut myself up in 4 walls to pursue the unattainable, missing too many good times as I sit here typing away with enough nerve to think that what I think or imagine needs to be written down and offered to the public.
How vain can you get?
Maybe I just need to get a laptop:)
I remember once reading about a lady who was still trying to get published after 15 years, and I was like, somebody needs to give that lady half a clue. Needless to say, I needed the clue.....because I can see myself doing that, hoping year after year, that someone comes along and not only gets it but pays me for it. However, there is a little part of me that will look and think of how much time I've wasted, like the way you feel when you sit in traffic with no cell phone conversation, fast food or good music to partake of,wasting 30 minutes staring at the back of a semi. Where's the purpose in that?
So here's my question, what if you could see into the future and know that you would never be published...Would you still write???

Rave - Anne Frank & Gustav Klimt

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. "
~Anne Frank

I keep this quote in mind when I'm raking all the leaves upon leaves that have fallen from my 26 Oak trees. What is this "leaf blower" they speak of ? Happy Fall guys!! The pic, titled The Tree of Life is compliments of Gustav Klimt, my favorite painter.

Rave - Hallowmere Trailer

Check out this new book series, Hallowmere. The trailer is seriously spooky, so watch if you dare...This book is somewhat similar to my WIP, Where the Stones Speak, so I'm a little afraid to read for fear that my idea has been done, and done well :( But I'm intrigued and I can't wait to read it, so I thought I would share. Here's the link also....

http://ww2.wizards.com/books/mirrorstone/hallowmere/home.aspx

RANT - What Happened to Pluto??

I consider myself to be well educated, however I work hard at downplaying my smarts so I don't threaten others with my level of intelligence (dry sarcasm*grin*). However, I was humbled when I attempted to help my 9th grade daughter with an Earth & Space Science assignment the other day. Apparently, there's been a huge change in our universe and somehow, I have been unawares for years now.

Kinsey: "Mom. How do you like my solar system drawing?"
Me: "That's very, ooh, ahh, nice honey!"
Kinsey: 'Thanks mom."
Me: "Uh, Kinz? You forgot Pluto."
Kinsey: Rolls eyes, followed by look of utter disdain at my incompetence. "Pluto is NOT a planet."
Me: "What? What is it?"
Kinsey: "I don't know, who cares?" (good point, but I care)
Me: "Kinz are you sure? Let me see your book."
Kinsey: "Here."(Very smug like, I might add)
Me: Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus.... I very smug like, turn the page expecting to see Pluto. Nothing, not even a mention of "Chapter 6- Pluto: Used to be a planet"

Ever since I placed 2nd with my 5th grade gumball diorama of the solar system suspended with fishing wire in a spray painted glitter box(My mom is a distant cousin of Martha Stewart) AND it was edible, I reasoned that my knowledge about the solar system was complete. I could move on to bigger and better knowledge. Silly me!
But my point is, there was a Pluto, nine planets. What happened? Did they simply decide, No. We here at Nasa, in a very official way, were wrong, "Pluto is just a large chunk of ice." Did Nasa lose it? Or was it simply a matter of it's too far out to study, let's just have eight planets. I mean how can this happen? If I had been on Jeopardy and they had asked me for the planet farthest away from the sun for $50,000....shoot. I wouldn't have hesitated, "What is Pluto?" You better believe though, that Alex Tribeck would have had his hands full with my initial reaction upon learning that I wasn't correct.
Good thing, I wasn't on Jeopardy, because I would have made a complete fool of myself. But for those of you who don't know this and could possibly win big on Jeopardy, I will save you the humiliation by giving you this info now. Plus, why wasn't this info on the news, was it during the time that OJ Simpson and his bronco captivated the world or farther back, when Michael Jackson got his nose job?
So now my daughter has lost faith in me and thinks I'm dumb as a box of dirt. I'm going to have go online and find out some interesting tidbit to restore her faith in me. I'll let you know what I come up with. :)

RAVE- New Chick Music!!!!!!

Finally! Music to make me reach for my ipod, actually my kids have the ipods, I have an MP3 that looks like a solar calculator. But who cares. I want this new artist's music close as possible to my ears.
"Think of the kind of vintage, organically-crafted albums that Carole King or Joni Mitchell used to make. Thankfully, it's a tradition that is being kept alive today by the likes of Norah Jones, Jack Johnson - and now Colbie Caillat."
This is ....
Sing out loud good.
Happy to drive good.
Smile while listening good.
Karaoke, I can sing like Natalie Merchant good.(and I can, but only in my car...some odd type of phenomenon or something )

This woman could sing the Barney theme song and make it sound fresh. Really. I mean it. So please go check her out.
Your ears will be glad you did.
Here's her site
http://www.colbiecaillatmusic.com/

and the words to her song "Bubbly". Because, trust me, as soon as you hear it, you're going to want to sing it. Enjoy!

V1: I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time i see your bubbly face
i get the tinglies in a silly place

C: It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V2: The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under the covers stayin safe and warm
you give me feelins that i adore

C: It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

B: What am i gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmmmmmmm

C: It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V3: I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
Im comfortable enough to feel your warmth

C: It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go…..

Rant - Wear your best alligator suit when writing!

“If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in you heart, it is not success at all.” - Anna Quindlen

“It’s easy to handle success. The real test is how you handle failure" (or criticism).

“You will learn more through failure than you will by giving up.”

Wow! Never underestimate the power of one comment. All I can say is goodness me! You're never going to make ALL of the people happy ALL of the time. The best you can do as a writer is stay true to Your vision and if you receive criticism that you disagree with,
move on,
disregard it,
brush it off.
But whatever you do....
Keep Writing!!!
It's not easy to please the masses people and that is what published writing has become. Enjoyment according to the masses. Whether we like it or not. I myself, have a very thick and snazzy alligator suit that I wear when I write. And if I choose to, I'll let your opinion affect my writing, but only if I choose to.
Because in the end...it's *MY writing.

*Unless you're an editor or agent, then I will change anything you say:)

“There is probably no hell for authors in the next world — they suffer so much from critics and publishers in this.” ~ C. N. Bovee http://www.fmwriters.com/Visionback/Vision24/developingthickskin.htm
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/56270/it_takes_thick_skin_to_be_a_writer.html

Rave-Writer's Cafe

Read My Writing at WritersCafe.org

RAVE - Where the River Starts

I absolutely adore Lois Lowry. I think if I had to choose a style of writing that I would like to emulate, it would be hers. I first fell in love with her writing after reading "The Giver". Then after I found out that her first book wasn't published until she was 39 or 40, I became even more intrigued. That was actually a defining moment for me as I realized my long ago, tucked away dream of writing could be realized after the age of 33. Don't ask me why I thought I could only realize one professional life goal at a time or why I thought I was too old to be published. I guess I assumed all writers had to have a MFA(don't get me wrong I"m sure it helps immensely, but it's not in my immediate future)
Nowadays, I'm happy to say I'm almost 40 and the writing world is my oyster, so to speak.
All thanks to Ms. Lowry.
Anyway, I came upon this speech she gave as an acceptance for her Newbery Medal for The Giver. It tells how she came to write The Giver and also explains to me why she's able to write so well---
She gets it.
But not only that,
she captures it.
She wrote what she questioned about herself & others. She wrote about ambiguous societal nuances that we all blindly accept until someone points out that maybe, just maybe, there's another way to think about things.
I get the willies each time I read this speech, and maybe Its just me and I need to get a sweater and a mug of hot chocolate but I think this speech is literally perfect. This speech could have been an acceptance for a Nobel peace prize or an ambassador's plea for his country's solidarity but it is not. It is the shaping of a writer's idea. Something that can make magic...An "elsewhere" that's "somewhere" a reader wants to be.
So I hope you guys will read this speech in it's entirety and let me know if you appreciate it as much as I do.

http://www.loislowry.com/pdf/Newbery_Award.pdf

RANT- Do spiders have a high IQ?

My new house is an arachnophobic's nightmare. Daily batterings are commonplace and can occur at a moment's notice within my household. I have found these sneaky petes in towels, shoes, counters and cupboards. Don't get me wrong-I am not scared of these 8 legged creatures. I mean let's use some logic here. I'm much bigger. I have thumbs. And I'm not scared to use a fully loaded flip-flop. BUT this spider that you see in the image to your right is the grand-daddy Einstein of them all. Yes, that HUGE spider, called a fishing-spider(even though it lives in the woods DUH!) knows how to play dead. I kid you not! Let me repeat myself---It knows how to play dead.
Give yourselves a minute to think that over and let the willies subside before I continue with my traumatizing experience.

My cat, Mr Millie(yes,we thought he was a she and then after a year we had to give him some dignity,hence, the Mr.) whose scared to death of the vacuum(even when it's not on) and a slight wind, was playing with this bohemoth abomination. Upon seeing this, I silently prayed in earnest, please let that be a big cricket. It wasn't to be. So, I did what any normal person would have done, I grabbed a shoe and slapped it a good one. Now poor Mr. Millie has been scared of me for the past three days, but I got it(or so I thought)..I reasoned to myself that this creepy thing with thick hair like a Greek man's ear would surely be poisonous. No arachnid is that big and hairy and not lethal. So silly me, I go get a paper towel to pick it up and I proceed to examine it two inches away from my face. I look at it's markings. Any normal person would've flushed it. Not me. I wanted to know exactly what I was dealing with. I mean there could be a nest of them right?
I place it down on a hat box under a window to get better light. I make a mental note of the markings and go search on google for Pennsylvania spiders. I'm calm, it's dead. I'm logical, just want to know if it's poisonous but I'm not sure about some of the markings, does it have small brown bands?...mmm, let me go see. I reach the doorway and I find that spider hobbling, rather quick like on my hat box...No sir ree, impossible! It had been all scrunched up and still when I ...shudder... held it up my face for a good look. Wishing i had flushed it, I took a step towards it and reached for my trusty flip flop. As soon as that spider sensed my movement, it immediately went into dead mode. Now explain to me...Is this normal? What kind of spider does this? Needless to say I pounded that SOB so hard my hatbox has a huge dent. Not only that but I flushed it...
2 times.
So people if you live in the woods of Pennsylvania, and you come across one of these so called fishing spiders, and you can't bring yourself (either due to stupidity or lack of weaponry) to slap it 20 times and flush it twice, run for your lives. Although I have come to find out spiders do not like glass cleaner, so that might do in a pinch. But don't worry, I was considerate enough to call the entomology department at Penn State to let them know that I have some gargantuan smart ass spiders living in my house and that I would be more than willing to donate any they would find to research.
They haven't called me back yet though.

RANT- America's obsession with perfection.

Please look at the "normal" photo of Faith Hill on the right and compare it to the published photo on the left. Someone please explain to me why that photo needed altered to the degree it was altered. She has some bags under her eyes, a lil' bit of back fat and well-endowed, womanly hips. God Forbid!! Is she still not pretty people?? Then please draw your attention to the caption under the title of "faith and tim",---WHAT'S NORMAL ABOUT THEM (& WHAT'S NOT). A paradox?? I would say so!! Now I don't even read Redbook and I can see why I'm never going to. ( lil' side note---I'm fully capable of coming up with 100 ways of unleashing my sexy side, all on my own...thank you very much!!) I am disgusted with their attempt to portray what is not attainable or real but I am even more disgusted that we as Americans tolerate this delusional industry and financially support it. This is why the only magazines I peruse are, Archeology, National Geographic, Smithsonian, Outside and Writer's Digest. This way I'm only exposed to genuine portrayals of beautiful minds that don't require any altering by Photoshop. Think of how much better we would be if put just 1/2 of our efforts into being good instead of looking good. Not saying we should all run around being dirty, smelly and naked...just saying that people should be more attuned to who they are and how they treat others.

RANT- China doesn't own Mattel or Fisher Price!!

In light of the recent toy recalls, I find it incredulous that the general public could lay the blame on China. And why all the sudden interest in warning us consumers through frequent headlines in the media? Check out http://www.recalls.gov/recent.html and look at all the internal American recalls that occur on a daily basis that we hardly ever hear about in the news. Quite possibly this sudden interest and focus on consumer safety has more to do with this.....

China has experienced export growth of 500% across the last 17 years In late 2007 or 2008 China is set to pass the US as the 2nd largest exporter on earth. 8/28/07 From Max Fraad Wolfe

China's growth is a tougher event than anything we faced since World War Two" - Jeffrey E. Garten, Dean, Yale School of Management 9/12/2004

China, this year for the first time, has dislodged the United States from it’s long reighn as the main engine of global economic growth, with it’s more than 11 % growth eclipsing sputtering US growth of about 2 %, according to the International Monetary Funds 2007 projections released yesterday.