RANT - What is this thing they call a "Kindle"!?!

Okay, I'm not against technology and I admit, I read my local paper online. Saves me from recycling and I do my part conserving trees:) Except for Sundays. On Sundays I go out on the porch or to the kitchen table with a hot mug of joe, happy for the extra time to read the local news in it's pristine paper form. Who cares that I get ink smudges all over my face and don't realize until way later in the day? Or that the paper refuses to crease right where I need it to, causing me to spill the large mug of joe? Or that my arms get tired from holding up all that weight so early in the morning?
Well, apparently you can now for the low, low, price of $399.00(That's low for some people..I'm not one of them) you can purchase a KINDLE...A what?! A Kindle...roll eyes...duh? Go ahead, I'll wait while you move your rock aside and attempt to get current.
A Kindle is revolutionary because it can store up to 200 books (like my bookshelf), has access to 88,000 books (like Amazon) and all the top papers are auto delivered daily(like the internet). (The death of the paperboy and the quaint bookshops are upon us people, it's a sad day indeed) Plus, you can purchase the books for only $9.99 and they're instantly downloaded. (The ADD in me would like that feature, but I will fight the urge)

A KINDLE, not to be confused with a HINDLE,
is now the latest thing...........
that I think will be a big bomb.

Here's why,
1) Who wants to curl up in front of the fire and read one of those?...
2) I want pages, not buttons.
3) I want a book cover not a screen.
4) I want tattered corners to tell me I loved it over and over.
5) I want a book to put on my shelf to show others my adoration and that it meant something to me.
6) What the hell should I get the author to sign?(if I meet one)
7) Do you know how many books I can buy for $399.00? Books take priority over electronics (yes, I'm a nerd)
8) So what if Toni Morrison, one of my favorite all time authors, likes it and is saying so on Amazon. com. I prefer to think she did it for the $. James Patterson did it for the press ;)
9) Did I say it's $399.00!?!
10) I'm obviously old fashioned at the tender age of 39 and they're is nothing I see earth shattering about this product.....unless, I was only allowed one item and was stranded on an island alone. Then and only then, would I want one of these.

And, if by chance I happen to succumb to all the hype and I purchase one...and I, gulp, like it....I will post an update and talk about how wrong and old-fashioned I was:)

RAVE- Desiderata is Latin for " to be desired".

I think this poem is perfect. My son, Josh shared this with me and I'd like to share it with you guys. I marked my favorite stanza and I'm going to somehow incorporate it into my WIP, Where the Stones Speak. Enjoy!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata,

Rant - Santa's Quandary

Apparently in Australia, the local Santas are not allowed to say, Ho! Ho! Ho! anymore. For fear that it might be construed as offensive to women.
Thank Goodness.......I can't tell you how many times I have walked through the local mall and felt violated by that bearded, large man in red calling out his derogatory names for women, sometimes even patting his leg, enticing me to sit on his lap? I mean the nerve!!! How dare he call me a HO.
WHAT is wrong with people?
Who could be offended by St. Nicholas?
So now Santas in the outback have to replace ho,ho,ho with ha, ha, ha.
What?!?
It's not gonna be long before the elderly or even Santa's own elves with their short stature, start to feel that Santa's jolly, ha, ha, ha is just his way of mocking them.
And then what's poor Santa gonna be allowed to say?
How about hi, hi, hi?
Nope, then people with a stutter will be offended.
Anybody got any politically correct phrases that poor Santa can say?
And before you guys think I made this up, check it out here!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115/wl_asia_afp/lifestyleaustraliachristmasoffbeat